How to Know When It Is Time to Get a Divorce


Deciding whether your marriage is beyond repair is a difficult choice. People often paint divorce as the result of infidelity or domestic violence. While both reasons can lead to filing for divorce, a broad range of other factors can also play a role in your choice to end your marriage. If no matter your efforts, you are unhappy in your relationship, common signs may indicate that divorce may improve your life. Reaching out to an experienced family law attorney can also help you determine a course of action appropriate for your specific needs and goals.

If you are considering divorce, call The Law Offices of Makupson & Howard at (888) 328-2734 or fill out our online form to schedule an appointment in Pasadena.

You Disrespect or Resent Each Other

If you feel like your spouse criticizes you frequently and makes you feel bad about yourself, this is a sign of disrespect and resentment. You may also be the one that regularly engages in trash-talking your significant other. Talking negatively to or about each other is an obvious sign that your relationship has deteriorated. If you have many negative thoughts about your spouse or your marriage lacks connection and intimacy.

If you have children, talking negatively about their other parent whether you are married, in the process of separating, or officially divorced, is something you should actively avoid. If you realize that the disrespect and contempt that has developed between you and your spouse are enough to warrant a divorce, be mindful of the words you use in front of your children.

You Are Only Staying for the Children

Speaking of children, you may have been holding onto your marriage for their sake. If you put your children’s needs first at all times, this can effectively mask issues between you and your spouse, but only for so long. Marriage requires more than a co-parent for the relationship to remain healthy and happy.

Children are often more observant than parents may think, and they notice the issues in the relationship dynamics at home. This can make them insecure and breed resentment among family members.

While divorce is challenging for any child, all of you have a strong chance of becoming happier if unhappy parents live separate and apart. If you and your former spouse get to heal and strive in your post-divorce life, this can have a positive influence on your children too. This can only be effective with a healthy co-parenting relationship.

You Cannot Find Common Ground on Important Issues

If you and your spouse argue over the same topics over and over again, you may be unable to find common ground on issues, big or small. While persisting disagreements on small matters may not cause significant problems in your marriage, lasting disagreements about critical issues can negatively affect your relationship in the short and long terms.

Important matters in a marriage can include:

  • Finances
  • Living accommodations
  • Excessive alcohol consumption
  • Children upbringing
  • Values
  • Sexual intimacy
  • Fidelity

If either or both of you are unwilling to compromise or show flexibility, this is another typical sign that filing for divorce may be appropriate.

You Actively Avoid Your Spouse

Communication is central to a healthy marriage. If you have reached a point where you do not want to communicate with your spouse and do not want to risk an argument, this is a noticeable sign that divorce may be an effective solution.

If you are actively focusing on your work, children, friends, or any other person or activity that allows you to avoid your spouse, you likely have little to no connection in your marital relationship.

If you are walking on eggshells around your spouse because you worry about your mental or physical health if a confrontation happens, this is a severe red flag and possibly indicates domestic violence. Even if your spouse has never physically harmed you, abuse can also be verbal, emotional, or financial.

Your Relationship Has Become Toxic

Even if you are not experiencing domestic violence, your relationship may have become toxic. If you always feel defensive around your spouse and do not feel comfortable showing vulnerability, a divorce may benefit you, so you do not have to deal with an unfulfilling relationship on a daily basis.

If you have a stressful or apathetic physical reaction every time you are near of your spouse, your body cues can also indicate that you should consider a permanent split.

Divorce Options in California

The state of California refers to divorce as a dissolution of marriage. You and your spouse may choose a mediated divorce where you reach an agreement on all matters concerning your divorce outside of court. You still benefit from hiring a qualified attorney that keeps your best interests at heart throughout the negotiations.

If you and your spouse find it challenging to communicate during the process but want to handle your divorce outside of court, you can opt for mediation, where a neutral third party will support you throughout the negotiations.

When divorce is not an option for you due to financial or religious reasons, you and your spouse have the option to file for a legal separation. While offering most of the same benefits as a divorce, this solution does not terminate your marriage.

Why You Should Always Hire a Divorce Attorney

If you decide that either a legal separation or a divorce could benefit you and your family, consulting a divorce attorney can make a positive difference in how you approach the split. Choosing a reputable lawyer allows you to receive accurate and up-to-date advice tailored to your specific situation.

A divorce attorney will support you throughout the divorce process, whether yours is collaborative or contested. They can also review any prenuptial or postnuptial agreement you and your spouse signed to evaluate its impact on your divorce. Regardless of how simple or complicated matters like property division, child custody, or alimony are, your attorney can make sure that your rights and assets remain protected.

Contact The Law Offices of Makupson & Howard today at (888) 328-2734 for more information about our divorce services in Pasadena and its surrounding areas.

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